jamesmcvey:

Ever since the start of The Vamps, I have frequently seen rumours on twitter. I see people telling other people about my love life, who I’m supposedly with, what they look like… Even how ‘ugly’ people think they are.

The truth is that I don’t have love in my life at the moment; I have had a girlfriend in the past, and letting her go was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to deal with, but right now, I am completely on my own. People presume that guys in bands love being ‘unattached’; single and want to hook up with as many girls in different cities as possible. People presume we view girls as objects, meaningless markers on a list that we tick off each night. This may be true for some people, but it couldn’t be further from who I am. I am a fool, and I am selfish… but I am a lover. I LOVE to love. Being in love is the upmost mesmerising electricity for me, and I live for it.

At the moment I crave to meet that girl who blows me away… more than anything. I want to have someone in my life who I can tell everything, look forward to seeing, completely be myself with after everything that I’ve been doing. I want to be able to tell the world I am in love with her. I want all my friends to know how proud and lucky I feel being with her. I want to be able to introduce her to my parents, knowing that she’s my everything. I want to be able to tell her the stories and adventures I have experienced on this whirlwind journey… I want to forge a new path with her.

All these things I wish to encounter, and what’s strange is that somewhere out there at the moment, she is there- that’s what bewilders me. Somewhere in the world this girl is living her life, going about her day, completely oblivious as to who I even am. She has no idea that I am sitting here right now in Sydney at 07:47am eating breakfast, thinking about this. I’d do anything to know where she is… do I already know her? Have we crossed paths before..? Have we even walked passed each other in the street?

I think what gets me the most is that I don’t even know her name, I don’t even know where she is, and I don’t even know if I’ll ever meet her in my life.

So, people will make rumours and claim they know all about me, but I know the truth; I am lonely, I am desperate and I am not in love… but I sure do want to be.

James